We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
