we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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