garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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