i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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