Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
