every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
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