Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
