im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Randomize
