nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Randomize
