i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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