I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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