Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
