How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
