I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize