K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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