im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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