best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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