Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
