Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
