i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
