It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
