just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
