Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
