I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
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