are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Randomize
