That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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