And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
