if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Randomize
