Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
