Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
