wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize