hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Congratulations! We have a period
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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