genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Do you have feelings for this penis?
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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