he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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