big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
