9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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