its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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