We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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