My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
