how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Randomize
