Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize