remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
You can't motorboat a personality
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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