I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
