i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize