She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
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