toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
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