ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
farters have to be the big spoon...
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
We're too hungover to prance.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Randomize
