No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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