I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
