Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
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