It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
