My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
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