Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
No stitches, just platelets and will power
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
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