weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Randomize
