Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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