Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Randomize
