I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
